Missing Mummy At Christmas

Dearest Mummy,

As Christmas is approaching, I can’t stop to think how we used to start planning what to do and what to cook and where to go, and whom to see and send presents to.

You would be reminding me to take you Christmas card shopping or bring them for you so that you can send them to your family and friends in time.

What a gift and treasure you were to us your kids and other family and friends?!?!!

This is going to be the second Christmas without you here and the tears have a tap of their own as I even write this.

The different family traditions you taught us and passed on but still so difficult to implement because the memories of you and your loss are still so fresh in my mind each day.

Deep Memories

You look around as people go by their day and wonder how someone special to your heart was once here and now she is a deep memory.

Thoughts of not really remembering your face, kindness, and feeling of love clearly as daylight, scare me more now that the years are flying by. Yet I know with the passing years, they will slowly start fading in my mind.

We take so many relationships in our lives for granted but, little do we know that surely there will come a time when we don’t have them here anymore. To share jokes or heart-to-heart conversations you used to have that meant the world to us.

I am so glad God chose me to spend as much of your last precious moments and really take them in.

‘Grief is love with nowhere to go. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eye, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest.’ that’s the biggest challenge for me.

Mummy, I am sending you Christmas wishes through my prayers that God may bless you with peace in heaven.

Thank you for all the love and support you always gave me mummy.  

I pray for your soul to continue resting in perfect peace with Daddy in heaven.

Dealing with grief at Christmas is hard when you’re missing loved ones. While the ache of your loss never leaves, it is profoundly felt at Christmas.

I miss you so much.

Your baby son

Kaka (Her nickname for me growing up)

Ps: If your mother/parents are still alive, know this for sure; “A mother is the truest friend we have when trials are heavy and suddenly fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, she will still cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.”
― Washington Irving