Hidden Tale Of A Family Male Caregiver
In a world where gender roles often dictate societal norms, there is a hidden tale of a family male caregiver that deserves to be brought to light. While society may often associate caregiving with women, there are countless men who selflessly dedicate their time, energy, and love to caring for their loved ones.
The story of a family male caregiver is one of compassion, resilience, and unwavering dedication. These individuals take on the responsibility of meeting the physical, emotional, and sometimes even financial needs of their family members, regardless of any preconceived notions. They transcend traditional gender roles, displaying strength and tenderness in equal measure.
Behind closed doors, these unsung heroes may be providing care for ailing parents or disabled family members. They navigate the complexities of medical appointments, medication management, and daily assistance, often juggling these responsibilities with work and personal commitments. Yet, their unwavering commitment ensures that their loved ones can maintain a sense of dignity and quality of life.
In the face of societal expectations, family male caregivers face unique challenges. They may encounter judgment, misconceptions, or stigma surrounding their role as the primary caregiver. However, their determination to provide the best care possible for their loved ones supersedes any societal pressures.
The hidden tale of a family male caregiver is a story of perseverance. It is a testament to the strength of character and the unconditional love that drives these individuals to put their own needs aside in order to support those who rely on them. Their compassion and ability to provide a nurturing and safe environment is invaluable, offering comfort and stability during challenging times.
It is important to recognize and acknowledge the dedication and sacrifice of family male caregivers. Their story serves as a reminder that caregiving knows no gender boundaries and that anyone, regardless of societal expectations, can step into this role with love and devotion.
In conclusion, the hidden tale of a family male caregiver deserves to be celebrated. Their tireless efforts, selflessness, and unwavering commitment to their loved ones embody the true essence of caregiving. Let us shine a spotlight on these remarkable individuals, acknowledging their important role and offering support and appreciation for the incredible work they do.
Mental health has often been spoken about in many spaces but not frequently in a life of a family caregiver. Just because they have a smile, walk tall, are confident, and are always happy to help, doesn’t mean they have not reached their burnout.
Rosalynn Carter said it first and she said it best: “There are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”
Many times we ignore how we feel or the toll it takes on us when looking after a loved one as the main caregiver. This in turn catches up on us and slowly starts to affect our mental health. ‘Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make healthy choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood.’
Before my mother Rosemary a.k.a “heart of gold Lady”, passed about a year ago, I was her full-time carer, with a marriage and a full-time job. At the time I didn’t realize the toll it took on my emotional, psychological, and social well-being.
I remember not sleeping very well and having negative dreams about the worst-case scenario when am not around her physically. I thought I was the only one who could save her should anything happen to her. With most of my siblings abroad, I was left with the task of gatekeeper and caregiver for our mother in Uganda.
I felt a huge responsibility to ensure everything went well with her, always reported back to them, and when they too called she was always in a happy mood saying all good things about what I had done for her with the financial help they sent her religiously each end of the month or when there was an emergency at her home.
One night, I could not sleep very well and felt the whole of my body burning up but I didn’t know the cause. The next morning I quickly drove myself to the nearby hospital and after all my vitals were checked, the doctors asked me how I got to the hospital. I told them that I had come driving myself. They quickly rushed me to the emergency room and started emergency treatment.
I later found out my blood pressure and sugar levels were very high and that’s why I felt my body burning up. Hadn’t I arrived at that time, I was risking organ failure in the falling minutes. After my emergency treatment, I was formally diagnosed with pre-hypertension and pre-diabetic conditions and asked to quickly go on a special mind, body, and soul diet if I was to avoid medication. I knew how I got there but, had no clue how to get myself back on track because the situations in my life hadn’t changed.
‘Becoming someone’s carer is physically and emotionally demanding. You’re handling all this while at the same time dealing with everyday life! All the demands will eventually take their toll on you.
Burnout as a caregiver can sneak up on you without you noticing, and is a mix of exhaustion, stress, and mild to moderate depression.
Some early signs of burnout include:
Lack of interest in social activities, loss of interest in activities you normally enjoy, anxiety and feeling low, changes in sleeping patterns and appetite, and Overreacting to minor problems.
It’s best if you can catch the early warning signs and do something about them before they develop into full-blown burnout.
Signs you already have burnout:
A lack of energy however much you sleep, getting sick more often, and never feeling quite 100%, Your life revolves around caregiving but you gain little satisfaction from it, difficult relaxing feelings of helplessness or anxiety that won’t go away, You find yourself increasingly angry with the person you’re caring for.
Don’t be afraid to admit when you’re feeling burned out. Allow yourself some space to gain a better perspective. Carers often feel guilty about taking time for themselves but you won’t have anything to give otherwise.’
Most importantly, build a support team around you that can take over and help you get some well-deserved and overdue rest. If we had not found a caregiver for my mum, then I believe all my sickness would have gotten worse by now.
“Let me be one of the people who write their life history, not with ink but with the colors of a caring heart.”
By Edward Kateregga.