Breaking the Silence: Embracing Mental Wellness for Men
“What is Depression?
Depression is a mental health disorder characterized by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest in activities. It affects mood, motivation, energy, and overall well-being.
Who Gets Depression?
Depression can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. However, men and boys in Africa may face unique challenges:
- Societal expectations: Traditional masculine norms can discourage men from expressing emotions or seeking help.
- Cultural stigma: Mental health issues may be stigmatized or misunderstood, leading to silence and suffering.
- Economic pressures: Financial stress, poverty, and unemployment can contribute to depression.”
It was the winter of 2003. I moved to the United Kingdom about two years ago to pursue a degree in Information Technology and Business. Since I wasn’t on a scholarship, I quickly had to find a good-paying part-time job to help my soon-to-be-retired parents with my tuition fees.
After a few chats with other foreign students from Nigeria, I was informed about Elderly care work that paid more than any other part-time jobs on campus. I quickly did my research on the city of Bradford, where I was attending university, and found a home care agency that quickly took me up and promised to allocate some shifts as and when I was available and not in class.
After a week I was called and asked for my availability for work the following week. My first shift soon came and I was given the uniforms that made me look like a male professional nurse, not a caregiver. The agency informed me, that I would be working with the elderly. Excited about my new part-time job, I started preparing for it and indeed the day came when I was meant to report for work
As I approached the door to the place of work, I noticed a lot of security on the doors and you could not enter without a security card. My shift started at 7 am on that cold dark winter morning and finished a 2 pm. I used to get up at 5:30 am to be able to catch the 6:30 am Bus if I was to make it to work on time.
The elderly persons I was meant to work with had advanced dementia and other mental disorders possibly caused by aging and others had lived with them most of their lives. As the only man on the shift, I was given to work with the most difficult of patients. From bathing them and carrying the ones that could not walk or follow around those that could not sit in one place but could hurt themselves moving into furniture around the home.
I was only positive throughout my whole shift because the money was really good and I needed it to help pay for my student accommodation and University tuition fees. Basic at this point, I had two better options.
After almost 3 weeks of working mostly all weekends and one day a week of 7 am to 2 pm shifts, one morning on my way to work on the bus, I just bust out crying uncontrollably and didn’t care because the bus was not full. I got to work did my thing and left. This continued for some time on and off. I told my brother who was my housemate at the time that I wanted to quit this job, to which I got a reply… “How will you meet your expenses Ssebo (means sir) “. He was also right because he too was holding on to 2 jobs at the time and didn’t have time to listen out for my mental wellness.
I tried again for another two weeks after pulling myself together and knowing what was at stake if I just quit. I began to wake up in the middle of the night on the days I had to work the next day with a lot of anxiety. It’s like I had an exam the next day. That sinking feeling started overwhelming me as I got to the bus stop in on that pitch-black very cold Saturday and Sunday mornings. Other international students were getting on buses to go for day trips organized by the University to know their nearest towns well.
I called my mother on the phone after one such shift and told her I was going to quit this job that was starting to depress me. I also informed her that, I wanted to drop my studies and return home because I could not take it anymore. I was about to return home with “no wires……saying we used for going mad back then… and no degree”. She listened and advised me that I should put my mental health first before the job.
I finally gathered the courage to call up the agency and advise them to find me a better working environment or else I wouldn’t be going back to that place. To which they agreed but didn’t put in action.
It was not until I found another job in a bar collecting empty used customer glasses, and washing and returning them to the bar shelves that I realized how depressed I was. This glass collecting job didn’t pay as well but the change of environment made me realize that I almost ended up in a bad place.
All was worth it on graduation.
So yes…. who gets depression……. anyone can and most have been through it without knowing. And to me, depression is lacking that fire in your belly that drives you or spark in your eyes when you meet your friends or spring in your step as you move around doing your daily tasks for the day. Whatever your daily tasks are??!!!!
Some Signs and Symptoms in Men and Boys
“Recognizing depression in men and boys can be challenging, as they may not always exhibit traditional symptoms:
· Irritability, anger, or aggression
· Withdrawal from social activities
· Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
· Fatigue, lack of energy
· Physical complaints (e.g., headaches, stomach issues)
Handling and Managing Depression in Men and Boys
1. Encourage open conversations: Create safe spaces for men and boys to share their feelings and emotions.
2. Seek professional help: Consult mental health professionals, such as psychologists or psychiatrists, for guidance and support.
3. Support groups: Join or establish support groups for men and boys to share experiences and connect with others.
4. Mindfulness and self-care: Engage in activities that promote relaxation and stress reduction, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies.
5. Challenge societal norms: Encourage men and boys to express emotions and seek help without fear of judgment or stigma.
Resources in #Africa
1. Mental health organizations: Organizations like the African Union’s Mental Health Strategy, the World Health Organization’s (WHO) Mental Health Program, Safe Places Uganda https://safeplacesuganda.com/, Carealth Service Ltd in Uganda; https://carealthservices.com/mental-wellness/ and the African Mental Health Foundation provide resources and support.
2. Hotlines and helplines: Many African countries have established hotlines and helplines for mental health support, such as the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG). Uganda Counseling Association; https://ucaug.org/ or the Nigerian Mental Health Coalition.
3. Online platforms: Online resources like the WHO’s Mental Health Gap Action Programme (mhGAP) and the African Mental Health Online platform offer information, tools, and support.
Conclusion
Depression is a treatable condition, and seeking help is a sign of strength. By #encouraging open conversations, #seeking #professional help, and promoting self-care, we can support men and boys in Africa to manage and overcome #depression.
Remember, #mental #health #matters!”